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Self Pleasure

The truth about vibrators

This question was raised today and when I realised my answer was more than 2 sentences long, I decided to write a blog about it.

So are vibrators BAD?

I don’t think of many things as being BAD in essence.

What I am more interested in, is where we are coming from when we do what we do.


My story:

I have only ever owned one vibrator and I loved it at the time.

It took me years to just gets the courage to go to a sex shop and buy one, so as you can see I am not coming from a very sexually open background.

I had so much shame just at the idea of it!

Anyway, once I had one, I loved it!!!

It was totally new and exiting and allowed me to experience sensations I never had before.

This is until it just stopped vibrating!!!! hahaha

At the time, I never cared to buy a new one or if I was to be honest, being in relationship I had some shame that came up around using it so I just got rid of it.

Then my journey took me in a totally different direction where my practice became the exploration of subtle pleasure, of opening every cells of my body to each sensation.

I became aware of a more energetic way of love making with my partner first and then in my own self pleasure moments.

This is what inspired me to create the 21 day Self Pleasure Challenge in the first place as I had never heard of such practice before.

Because this whole program is about helping you to become aware of the subtle energetic sensations in your vagina, I do not recommend using a vibrator. It’s all about slowing down, breathing deeply and relaxing open to the subtle sensations and a vibrator is just way too intense for that.

Also the overuse of vibrators tend to reduce the sensitivity of your vaginal wall and then it can become harder to experience pleasure with your partner or with your finger alone.


Now saying that, as much as the thought of having a vibrator on my clitoris freaks me out since i have become so sensitive, today as I was self pleasuring I thought that I would actually like to experience again with a vibrator inside of my vagina as a way to activate some part of her.

This is what would interest me more than just use it to get off and be done with it in a short amount of time.

I would like to explore a little with it and see if it would actually support me to open even more which I have a feeling it will.

As with everything, I go with my feelings, my intuition, my knowing when it comes to those things.

I explore and decide for myself.

This is my journey though.

I have a deep loving and respectful connection with my Yoni. I listen to her, to what she needs and never approach her with a goal in mind but rather with an open and present curiosity.

What about addiction?

So I don’t think I ever had an addiction to my vibrator as I did not use it for long enough and it was a long time ago now. But what I can relate it to is drugs and alcohol.

When I stopped drinking I needed to not drink at all because i did not trust myself to not drink too much.

And this is what you need to watch for, I think here.

Do you feel like you can’t really experience pleasure without the use of a vibrator?

If your answer is yes, I would definitely stop for a while in order to find your pleasure in more natural ways, until your approach to using a vibrator has moved away from need and addiction and your have found a trust in your own choices again.

As it is for me today with drugs and alcohol, I can have a drink or I can even try a substance if I feel like it because i am aware where I am coming from.

So what’s my answer then?

So as I said at the start, I don’t think many things are Bad in essence, to me, it all depends on how conscious and present we are when we intend to do something.

The more conscious and present I am, the less I seem to need rules and limitations as I can see and feel where I am coming from in each moment.

It takes a deep honesty and authenticity with yourself.

We all have impulses and desire that comes from an unconscious and unhealthy place and the more present and conscious, the more we can feel them.

Also i am not trying to get rid of those impulses and desires, my work is in being honest with myself when they arise and then choose.

You know you can choose unconsciousness consciously, the difference is that you are fully owning the consequences.

This apply to the use of vibrators, drug or alcohol, relationship, work, family…. actually pretty much everything…. All you need is being more present and honest with yourself.

So here is my rather long answer to the question: Are vibrator bad?

I would love to hear your story so you can either email me at or if you haven’t yet, I invite you to join my free Facebook group, Radiant, Bold and Sexy, where we explore and discuss subjects like this one on a weekly basis.


Did you know that Vibrator were actually created to treat hysteria?
How funny is that!!!

Here is a little fun video that will make you laugh.
They actually created vibrator to because doctors were getting sore wrist from administrating treatment.
It’s a classic.

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